Far Away For Far Too Long
by That Curly Daisy
Summary: An alternate storyline for My Candy Love University! Candace (Candy) and Lysander go from being so in-love at the end of high school to broken up for the next four years... A lot has happened in that time, but Candy never truly let go of Lysander... Will they be able to re-connect or will they move on for good?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Summer Promises

It was a gorgeous and sunny day at the beach with our friends. Everyone was having a great time; Rosalaya and I were splashing around in the water, hopping over the swells of waves. The boys, Castiel, Leigh, and Lysander, were playing beach volleyball on the sand. We had all been at it for hours, we even had lunch at a nearby shack and sunbathed earlier. I had never had such a blissfully wonderful summer day with friends like this one… but in the back of my mind, I was worrying.

You see, I had recently been faced with the reality that there were some big life decisions I'd have to make very soon. I had applied to local universities for the most part, but I also applied to this one school far away that I'd always dreamt of attending, The University of Notre Dame (UND) in Paris. I never thought I would actually get in, the art teacher at Sweet Amoris, Professor Patrick, had even helped me pull together my art portfolio at last minute. I wanted to apply just to try… now that I had a real chance, I really wanted to go! I had decided to study art and what better place to do it than in Paris?!

But my heart was conflicted. Sure, I had expected many of my friends would go their own separate ways after high school, but my relationship with Lysander was special. We were closer and happier than ever, especially after everything we'd been though! We loved each other so much… and although I was not ready to be thinking about marriage whatsoever, I couldn't imagine a future without him in my life. We were so attached to each other, never discussing or expecting how going to college could be an obstacle for us. If I am honest, I think part of the reason we never discussed the future was that I did not want to sour our bliss. But now that UND had accepted me, how could I keep it from him?

"Candace, What's wrong girl? We are hopping waves, this is supposed to be fun, remember?!" Rosa scolded me jokingly, but she seemed a little concerned.

"Haha sorry, I am having fun! Don't worry about me!" I said, splashing her playfully.

"Then why is it that you have a deep wrinkle between your eyebrows?" She pried with a pout. I reflexively covered my forehead with my hand to hide the mark I knew she was talking about.

"Ok, so maybe I have something on my mind…"

"I knew it! Give me some juicy info!" she said cheerfully as she hopped a wave.

"I got into my dream school," I started.

"Oh my gosh! Congratulations, Candy! That's amazing! I'm so excited and happy for you-" she beamed.

"But it's in Paris!" I finished, cringing, awaiting her reaction.

"…What?!" she said shocked.

"I know… It's really far away, at least 5 hours by train."

"Oh… Yes, it is…" she seemed a little down, but then she smiled at me, understanding. "But if it's your dream, you have to go for it."

"But what about Lysander? How can I tell him? What if he breaks up with me?" I said, my eyes starting to tear up at the thought.

"No! He wouldn't break up with you over this, have a little faith! You guys love each other, I'm sure you have what it takes to make a long-distance relationship work!" Rosalaya tried to reassure me, her hands gripping my shoulders.

"…Do you really think so? I've just heard so much about how people break up after high school because of going far away for college…I feel so torn up about it! I want to go to my dream school, but I also want to stay with him… Maybe I'll ask him what he thinks I should do?" I said, wiping the tears from my eyes, making sure to face away from shore so as not to be seen by the others, especially not by Lysander.

"Yeah, why don't you talk to him about it? It could help you make your decision more peacefully… but you have to tell me all about it after, ok?! Or else I will get very offended!" Rosa said this last part with an encouraging smile.

"Heh heh, of course, you are my bestie! I wouldn't decide to leave town without telling you first!" I said with a light laugh.

"Well then, enough sad faces! We have a giant wave coming our way-" Rosa began to say as a large swell rolled towards us, but we did not act fast enough, rather we were knocked over and under the water! We emerged laughing at each other's soggy mops of hair all over our faces. We talked of other things like fashion and Rosa's plans for college and other summer activities before heading out to shore when the boys called us to start a bonfire. Lysander greeted me with a sweet embrace and kiss, placing my beach towel around my shoulders. As the sun set over the sea, Castiel played his guitar and everyone chatted while eating s'mores and roasted wienies. I was sitting in the sand, wearing a hoodless gray sweatshirt, my back against Lysander's side. When Castiel went off to use the outhouse, Rosa and Leigh seemed to want some alone time.

"Candace, would you like to go for a walk on the shore?" Lysander asked with a murmur in my ear that made me shiver.

"Sure!" I said, grabbing his hand and giving him a kiss on the cheek. We got up and trotted calmly on the edges of the water, our footprints visible on the moonlit sand. He pulled me close to his side as we walked, his muscular arm around my waist.

"Isn't it a beautiful night? It's just perfect…" Lysander mused.

"Yeah, it's very romantic…" I agreed. I looked out at the white caps of the waves, the wind gently tousling my long, brown hair. He stopped walking and looked at me lovingly.

"What is it?" I asked shyly.

"I want to remember this moment well… and how amazing you look tonight." He said, his hand caressing my face. I placed my hand over his, savoring his warm touch, my eyes closing. I had to tell him the news…

"Lysander, there's something I have been meaning to tell you… rather, I wanted to ask you something important," I began. He looked at me more seriously, sensing my apprehension.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, it's nothing terrible! But… maybe we should sit down." We sat in the dry sand together.

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

"Well, I wanted to tell you that… I got into a school, the school of my dreams, actually." I began.

"That's wonderful news! Congratulations, Candy." Lysander said smiling, leaning in to give me a kiss on the forehead.

"Yes, but there's a catch…"

"Oh?"

"It's the University of Notre Dame… in Paris."

"Oh!" he said surprised. Then he grew quiet and pensive.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't tell you because I didn't even imagine I would make it in! But anyway, I can turn it down-"

"Why would you turn it down? It's your dream, you should go." He said seriously. I was a little surprised at his answer. A small part of me had kind of hoped he would ask me to stay.

"But what about us? Are you really OK with a long-distance relationship?" I asked, trying to mask my idiotic hurt ego. He looked at me, smiling reassuringly.

"I think we can handle it." He said with confidence.

"Won't you… miss me?" I said bashfully.

"Of course I will miss you! It's going to be very hard!" he pulled me into a tight hug, seemingly trying to comfort me and himself. "But it's not like we will never see each other again, right? We can visit each other regularly… besides, it will be a good opportunity to write letters."

"Yes, but what if you fall out of love with me and find someone else?" I said worried.

"That will never happen. Would you let it happen to you?" He said.

"No, you're right… I love you too much… but what if we don't see each other for too long and you get tired of me? What if-"

"It sounds like you are just coming up with ridiculous excuses." He sighed, now he looked out at the sea. "Is going to UND not so important to you?"

"It _is_ important to me, I have thought about going there since I was little!" I explained.

"Then if this is so important to you, please, don't let me be the one to stand in your way of accomplishing your dreams." he looked a bit sad as he said this. I could feel that he was valuing my happiness over his'. He was so amazing, my Lysander. I leaned towards him and pulled his face towards mine, giving him a long and passionate kiss on the lips.

"You are too wonderful to me." I said, looking into his eyes lovingly. He kissed me back, slow and intense. The next thing we knew, we were making out on the sand, his body on top of mine. His mouth travelled to my neck, my shoulders... He was making my heart race!

"I love you, Lysander." I breathed.

"I love you, too, Candace." He said with a final, tender kiss on my lips. After some time, we headed back towards our group, holding hands.

"Lysander, can I ask you to promise me something?" I asked, not looking at him but blushing lightly.

"Hm? What is it?" he asked gently.

"When my time in Paris begins, promise that you will be honest with me always? I just want to make sure we understand each other so we can make this work." I explained.

"I promise. We will make this work." He said with a reassuring and soft smile. He kissed my cheek. Once we were back with our friends, it was time to go home.


	2. Chapter 2

FIND YOU Chapter 2: Ties that Break

We had a lovely rest of the summer before college. By the end, there were various goodbye parties going on because so many of the Sweet Amoris gang were leaving for different schools or starting careers far away. Alexy, Rosa, Priya, Castiel, Nathaniel, and Lysander among others decided to go to the local universities. It was incredibly difficult saying good bye to everyone… I would miss my friends dearly.

Lysander actually helped move me into my dorm room in Paris along with my parents, so I got to spend a little extra time with him, for which I was very grateful. We had a plan to see each other once a month and were already planning on his next visit to Paris at the end of the month. I tried to keep positive and so did he. Nonetheless, I had to use all my willpower not to cry in front of Lysander when we said goodbye (I certainly cried many times through the beginning of that first semester when I missed him too much). We called each other every day, texted cute stuff here and there, wrote long love letters… Lysander got busy in school, double majoring in music and literature as well as doing an internship with a company that wrote music for celebrities. I was busy too, double majoring in art; illustration and graphic design, as well as working part-time at an art museum on campus. But we always made time to at the very least text in the evenings to say goodnight and we made sure to do everything possible to see each other one weekend of the month… well, at least it worked for a while.

When he came up to Paris or I went down to Amorisville, we did not get to spend as much time together as we would've liked. The weekends didn't seem long enough and our attentions were divided because of our friends and families who also wanted to see us, especially for Lysander since his father seemed to be getting sicker. We quickly realized that the trip to visit each other was long and expensive. Eventually we started re-scheduling our visits either because we had assignments or the internship or work or Lysander's parents needed him at the hospital or on the farm… it came to a point where we also were not talking as much as we used to. When we did, it was awkward. We were making new friends and we had different concerns that we could not really relate to each other on. Frustration built from struggling to maintain our relationship. By the start of the second semester of my freshman year, Lysander seemed to shut down. Speaking little and less sweet, but more tired. Eventually we stopped talking on the phone and only texted now and then when we remembered to.

On some random Wednesday night, I was sitting in my dorm room bed, studying for midterms (which were coming up in a couple more weeks). I jolted in place in surprise when I heard a sudden digital, melodic sound. Realizing it was my ringtone for Lysander, I quickly answered the phone. It felt like it had been a long time since he'd actually called!

"Hello, Lysander?"

"Good evening Candace, how are you doing?" Lysander asked.

"I'm doing alright! Just studying a bit, but I could use the break! …It's nice to hear from you." I said.

"Yes, I know it's been a while… actually I was hoping we could skype tonight if you are up to it? I have something important I need to talk to you about." He sounded very serious. My mind immediately thought of the worst. Was it his father again? I took a deep breath and replied,

"Ok, yeah. That sounds good! Let me just get my laptop going…" a few minutes later I got on the video chatting site and so did he. His appearance was… concerning. He had bags under his eyes, his face looked thinner, his hair was messy, his clothes consisted of a dark green, cable-knit sweater his mother made for him and a pair of dark-washed jeans, an unusually non-Victorian look he only wore when he had just been at the hospital for long hours because it was comfortable… I instantly knew something bad had happened to his father.

"Lysander, what's going on? You don't look well!" I asked panicking.

"Calm down, everything is fine…" he said this but it was not convincing.

"Don't lie to me when I can see it in your face that you have been crying! Why won't you talk to me?" I asked worried.

"I said everything is fine, so don't worry about it!" he snapped. I was taken aback; he had never spoken to me that way before. "I-I am sorry! I didn't mean to shout- It's been a difficult past few weeks…" he apologized, rubbing his temples with one hand, his eyes squeezed shut.

"…It's ok… you can talk to me when you are ready I'm sorry for pushing..." I said gently. He looked at me quietly for a few seconds, seeming to be contemplating something. But instead of speaking he just let out a deep sigh.

"So… what _do_ you want to talk about with me?" I asked, hoping that he would feel better by changing the subject.

"Candace, are you really happy with the way things are between us?" he asked sadly, his eyebrows furrowed, a solemn look on his face. I felt my stomach drop.

"Well… it's not been ideal..." I admitted, but it was really an understatement.

"Then let's end this." He blurted out. I felt like time stopped.

"…What?" I asked hesitantly. Maybe I had heard wrong?

"I want to break up." He clarified. "I feel like we just don't have time to maintain our relationship. We both have so many responsibilities…" he explained.

"Yes, but maybe we're just going through a weird time right now and we just have to wait until summer break, then I will be back home and we can spend time together again, you'll see!" I argued irrationally with a shaky voice, as if that would be an easy fix for all our problems.

"Candy, we have just barely been in touch for months now, don't you think that's weird, even for a long-distance relationship? As much as it pains me to admit it, we have grown apart. It just seems to me that we are not a priority for each other anymore." He said all of this very calmly. I didn't know what to say because I felt what he said was true and it really hurt to hear it.

"…But I still love you." I said, heavy tears rolling down my cheeks. He had a pained expression on his face.

"I love you, too." He was crying now as well. "But I believe this is what is best for both of us right now... Do you understand?" I shook my head, my hand covering my mouth, trying not to let myself sob in front of him so as to hold some semblance of dignity.

"Yes. I understand what you mean, but… how did it turn out this way? We promised we would make this work!" I said with a shaky voice, trying to breathe and calm myself to no avail.

"I know… it just became so much more complicated than I had imagined... I am so sorry, Candace." He said, his brows furrowed with guilt and worry.

"Yeah… me too. I-I think I have to go back to my studies now… Goodbye, Lysander." I said before hitting the end call button. I didn't wait to hear him say goodbye back. I could not hold in my grief any longer. As soon as I closed my laptop, I balled my eyes out. I cried myself to sleep that night.

In the morning when I woke up I still felt rather terrible but also confused. I was completely heartbroken that the love of my life had dumped me, but there was also a strange sense of relief. Relief at no longer having to worry about making time for him. Relieved that I no longer had to feel hurt when he didn't seem to have time for me. Relieved that the dread of losing him was over with. The worst that could have happened was done. Now I was free to focus on my school life guilt-free… at least that's what I told myself to feel better.

I remember that Rosa and Alexy tried to contact me a lot, especially when the break up with Lysander was still fresh, but I often avoided their calls and texts, only giving short answers and lying, saying I was ok. I just didn't want to talk about Lysander. I didn't want to be reminded of the terrible hole in my heart that ached every day. I eventually lost contact with all the Sweet Amoris gang all together because everyone got busy with their own lives anyway. I never went back to the city either, especially since my parents moved out of town. Although it was a little sad, it was fine by me. I didn't want to go back and be reminded of the painful memory of Lysander. Besides, I had a new life in Paris and I loved it! My grades had improved, my job was wonderful, and I had great friends… Eventually my friends took me out to party and meet new guys, but unfortunately nobody could meet up to what I had with Lysander. Over the years, all I managed to get were shallow flings or short-lived relationships that felt like a waste of time.

Right at the end of my junior year, I realized I wanted to switch majors. I loved my illustration major and the graphic design was also still close to my heart, but while working at the campus art museum, I really fell in love with art history. The trouble was that my school would not let me major in illustration and art history at the same time due to some strange policy. I went looking for schools that offered the kind of program I needed and found that the local university in Amorisville, Anteros Academy, offered the perfect program that would even count my credits in Paris, advancing me to still finish my degree in one more year! I applied to the school and was all set by summer time to start in the following semester. I realized I would probably be seeing some of my old friends again, but surely everyone had grown up a lot and the town had changed… my mind went to Lysander for an instant, making my heart race. I quickly shook my head to snap out of it, "Geez, it's been four years, I am totally over him! What am I nervous for?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Reignited

It was the end of summer when I arrived at Anteros Academy to start my final year of university. I was excited to meet new people and re-visit my old stomping grounds of my high school days. I had gotten in contact with Rosalaya a while before I made my move into the dorms. I felt pretty nervous as I waited for her in front of the student center on campus, where we had agreed to meet. Surely it would be at least a little awkward… it had been so long since we had seen each other. Were we still even friends? Did she have hard feelings towards me? Would we be too different to be close again? But to my relief and joy, we were able to pick up where we left off. She gave me a little grief for not having stayed in touch but it was done half-joking. I apologized for not being in-touch (but skipped the part about how my break up with Lysander had been an influence). She also apologized for not having stayed in touch. Then as our conversation progressed on our walk around campus, the topic of old friends came up, including Leigh and his family.

"Um, so, how is Lysander these days anyway?" I asked curiously.

"Well… things changed a lot for him after his parents died."

"Oh no… s-so, both his parents died…?" I asked shocked. I suspected his father may have passed away in the time since we broke up since he was not doing well, although nobody ever confirmed it for me before, but his mother, too?!

"George's sickness got the best of him… but you knew that part, since you were still dating Lysander at the time."

"What? No, he would have told me that, so it must have happened after-"

"I remember he'd said the reason you didn't go to the funeral was 'cause of exams." Rosalaya said. I felt the blood drain from my face.

"That's right… I must have gotten confused because it all happened around the same time as the break up…" I said, trying to sound un-phased, but really my mind was racing; I realized that Lysander had possibly kept this information from me the very day we broke up. _Why hadn't he told me?!_ I felt so guilty and angry at myself for not being there for him at that difficult time. _But how else could I have known! Why hadn't he told anyone we'd broken up?!_ _I probably looked like a real jerk for choosing my exams over him!_ I quickly decided to cast my hurt feelings aside and focus on the conversation at hand before Rosa could figure out the anxiety she had triggered in me with this information. "What about his mother?" I asked.

"Unfortunately, Josiane left us not so long afterwards… Doctors said it was the grief of losing her husband that deteriorated her so quickly," Rosalaya explained with a solemn look on her face.

"That is so tragic…" I said.

"Yes, it wasn't easy for Leigh and him… Neither for me, they were probably the kindest in-laws on earth. But Lysander was able to keep moving forward on his own."

"Wait, what do you mean he was on his own?"

"Lysander decided to take over his parents' farm." Rosa clarified. I was surprised. I remembered how Lysander had told me that he did not like life in the country side and much preferred the city. _Whatever happened to his dream of being a prominent song writer in the music industry?_

"I didn't know that Lysander took over his parents' farm… It was probably hard for him, losing both of them so early on."

"Don't make such a long face, he's all right now, it was years ago! Who would've thought, he is actually very happy to take care of the farm they held so dearly." Rosalaya said smiling.

"Then I'm happy for him." I said smiling politely, but really, I was concerned. I found it hard to believe that he would really be happy in those circumstances. At least not the Lysander I'd known… _Just how much had he changed?_ I had so many questions still, but Rosalaya changed the subject and I didn't want to seem like a weirdo for still being so interested about an ex-boyfriend who seemed to have moved on. And, I reminded myself, I had moved on too! Whether he lied to me in the past or not, it was a long time ago. I should really let it go… but Lysander stayed in the back of my mind nonetheless.

School life began. I met many new people like Hyun and Chani as well as re-connected with some old friends from high school including, Alexy, Priya, Nathaniel, and even Melody. Then I saw a flyer for Castiel's band; Crowstorm. They were coming to do a concert in town! I was definitely going to see it, I was curious as to how Castiel was doing and it was a fun excuse to get everyone together on a weekend and celebrate the start of senior year.

"Do you think Lysander will come to the concert next weekend?" I asked Rosalaya, trying to sound casual and not too eager. I wondered if Lysander would come since he was Castiel's best friend in high school… surely they stayed in-touch. Rosa seemed to feel uncomfortable for a moment when I asked this.

"No, Leigh told him about it weeks ago and said Lysander could not get away from his work. The farm is his priority and he doesn't easily take breaks from it."

"Oh… That's too bad." I admitted in disappointment.

"Look, Candy, it's better if you forget about Lysander. He is long gone now." Rosalaya said with concern. I could see that she was trying to push for what she thought was best for me. I realized that it looked like I was still pining over my ex. I blushed with embarrassment.

"Wait, it's not like that! I've totally moved on, trust me!" I clarified. "It's just I would have liked to see him again and catch up… as friends!" I deflected. She scruitinized me with suspicion.

"I swear! You really think I'm hung up on someone I broke up with almost four years ago?" I said with a laugh.

"Uh-huh… right. Then let's talk about boys you DO like! Maybe we can bring you a date to the concert?!" she went back to being her cheerful match-maker self. I really didn't have anyone I was interested in yet though, so she dropped the subject and she decided we would go to the concert with our friends and set me up with someone at another time.

The school week went by and then Friday night came. My girlfriends and I met up on campus near the school entrance and took the bus downtown to got to the club where the concert would be held. I wore a red, plaid skirt with a sleeveless, black turtleneck, my studded boots, and a casual jacket since it was getting chilly out in the evenings now.

As we entered the club, everyone was chatty and drinking, having a great time. The music playing was from an opening band I wasn't familiar with. Rosa told me it was a local group that was starting to gain some popularity. I took that time to sip my cider beer and chat with my friends, especially taking time to get to know the newer ones. When Castiel finally came on stage, the crowd was really hyped and we all danced to the catchy rock music. It was so cool to see how Castiel had become a real professional and anyone could tell how much fun he was having. I was truly happy for him, despite my not always seeing eye-to-eye with him back in our high school days. We were jumping around and singing along with the crowd. At one point, I dropped my purse behind me by accident so I turned around to grab it. When I was getting back up, I noticed a flash of light illuminate, just for a moment, a head of white towards the back of the room. I froze in place, looking around for what I had just seen but unable to find it again.

"What's the matter, Candy?" Alexy laughed loudly, still dancing with the others.

"I-It's nothing!" I shouted over the music, shaking my head. I turned back around to face the stage and continued dancing with my friends. _I must be losing my mind to think I saw Lysander. Rosa even said there was no way he would show up tonight!_ But only a few minutes later, it happened again; I saw the familiar face framed by the stunning white hair and this time I didn't lose sight of him. My heart raced as it hit me; Lysander was really, truly, standing at the back of the room. He was wearing dark, Victorian clothes consisting of a perfectly tailored navy colored suit, an elegant white dress-shirt, a chocolate toned fitted vest, leather shoes to match, and an emerald green necktie adorned his neck... His hair was longer than the last time I had seen him, stylishly resting over his right shoulder tied with a green ribbon into a low and effortless ponytail. His face looked a little older, more mature, but not much different than I remembered.

"Rosa!" I shouted, grabbing her and pulling her to my side. I was panicking.

"Hm? What is it?!" she shouted back over the music.

"You said he wouldn't be here!" I scolded her.

"Who?" she asked confused.

"Look in the back of the room. Lysander is here!" I said into her ear through gritted teeth. She glanced over and smiled wide, "Oh my gosh, Lys-baby!" she shouted, waving at him, making me jolt in place. He smiled and waved back at her. Then she looked at my anxious face. "Ooh… I'm sorry Candy, I really didn't think he was coming!" she said apologetically. "You gonna be ok, girl?"

"I- well, I am not mentally prepared! I don't know what to say to him!" I said.

"What happened to all your enthusiasm for being friends with him?" she teased. "I hope you're not nervous because you still have feelings for him!" this last part she said more seriously.

"No! It's just a little awkward to talk to him after so long, I don't know how to start!" I defended myself, but deep down I was feeling all sorts of things towards Lysander; nostalgia, anger, sadness, confusion, and a deep affection that I had not allowed myself to acknowledge for a very long time.

"How about you start by saying hi!" she said as she started pushing me in his direction. She then informed the others that we were going to go greet Lysander if they wanted to join us. They all followed along behind us.

When we finally broke through the crowd and were in front of him, Rosa went and gave him a big hug hello. Everyone was happy to see him and our new friends introduced themselves. I was the last one to greet him, my heart racing as I looked into his green and gold eyes for the first time in years. They hadn't changed at all.

"Hello Candace, it's been a long time." He said a bit bashfully.

"Yes. It has…" I said trying to force a normal smile, but I could feel the tension showing on my face. Just then, Castiel's band finished playing their last song and the crowd cheered.

"Thanks for coming everyone, have a good night!" he shouted into the mic. It took a while for the crowds to dissipate, during which time my friends and Lysander were chatting and catching up. I was quietly trying to calm myself down and hold back from staring at Lysander and making things more awkward. We all approached the stage and Castiel was happily surprised at his best friend's presence.

"Lysander! I thought you weren't going to come!"

"I didn't think I would be able to either, but I finished my work early for the day." He said as the two of them bro-hugged. I thought it weird that he was randomly able to catch some free time after Rosalaya had insisted he didn't take breaks from the farm very easily… I guessed it was just my luck that he would come through unannounced!

"Hey, how about we all go out to drink? There's a good bar nearby," Castiel invited us all out for our own little after party. Everyone agreed and so we went on foot to continue the good times. I chatted with Chani and Hyun along the way but I was still distracted by Lysander walking beside Castiel and Rosa just a few paces ahead of me. I wanted so badly to talk to him… but I was afraid. I didn't want to end up unloading all of my questions and thoughts on him that I'd had pent up for the past few years. When we reached the bar, I definitely worked on gaining some liquid confidence, but was careful not to let myself get drunk. I wanted to be brave enough to talk to Lysander, but make sure not to make a fool of myself either. Many of the others were not so careful. Rosalaya and Alexy were giggling at all sorts of nonsense, Priya was chatting with Castiel, Chani and Hyun were having fun trying different beers… Lysander however seemed pensive and quiet. I dared to walk over and sit at the empty barstool beside him. I cleared my throat after sipping my sangria and began to speak.

"So, Lysander, what have you been up to these days?" I asked casually. He looked at me a little surprised, then seemed to avoid making direct eye contact with me. Shoot, maybe I was making him uncomfortable?

"Nothing terribly interesting, just working on the farm..." he said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Nonsense, I'm sure it is very interesting! Tell me, what do you do at the farm exactly?" I tried to press on enthusiastically. I thought to myself, _It's only awkward if you make it awkward, Candace,_ as a sort of mantra to keep myself from chickening out of forcing a friendly conversation out of him.

"Well… mostly I grow cash crops and tend to the animals." He said.

"What is that like?" I asked genuinely curious.

"It's a lot of early mornings and hard work, but it's very rewarding to see things grow by your own hands." He said smiling gently.

"Wow… I'd like to see that someday." I said thoughtfully. He then stared at me curiously.

"W-What is it? Do I have something on my face?" I asked nervously.

"If I am honest, I am surprised you are talking to me at all tonight… what with the way things ended between us, I wouldn't blame you if you hated me." He said sadly. My heart tightened. I had not expected him to bring up the break up all of a sudden.

"I-I could never hate you, Lysander." I said placing a hand on his' reassuringly. "I only wish things could have been different. I-I should have been there for you when…" I felt my face redden as I said this in earnest. His face was also blushing lightly. I quickly removed my hands from his, realizing I might have crossed a line. I took another nervous sip of my drink and then I remembered...

"Please, it's alright, really! I-I don't blame you for anything-" he stammered.

"…Why didn't you tell me about your father?" I asked suddenly, a little hurt tinging my voice. Lysander looked remorseful, like he was blaming himself for my anguish but didn't know what to say. I immediately regretted my little outburst and clasped my hands over my mouth. Had I had too much to drink? This was not the time to be bringing up his dead parents! Heck, why were we talking about our break up as our first conversation when my intent had been to become friends again and let go of the past?! I felt embarrassed, confused, and pathetic. I wished I could just disappear and pretend this awkward conversation had never happened. I got out of my seat and put on my jacket, clutching my purse in my hand. I could feel myself on the verge of crying.

"Will you excuse me? I think I need to step outside for a minute." I said without looking him in the eyes as I began to head for the exit door in a hurry.

"Candy, wait-" he began to protest, but I didn't stop. I needed to be alone quick before anybody noticed the tears rolling down my face.

When I got out on the street into the cool air, I let myself sob. I hated that I felt sorry for myself. I hated that I was still hurting from a break up that happened years ago.

"Candace, I am so sorry, I never meant to upset you. I-I should have told you what was going on back then." I heard Lysander speak from behind me. I whipped around startled. He had followed me outside! He had a pained expression on his face. I quickly wiped the tears from my face but they were replaced with new ones.

"What happened to our promise of being honest with each other? If you had told me the truth, I would have come down to see you! Maybe…maybe things could have been different! I-I should have known, I shouldn't have lost touch…" I sobbed like a fool. Lysander stepped forward until he had his arms wrapped around me in a hug.

"I know, I'm sorry… I should have been honest. But there was nothing you could have done. I didn't want to be a burden… we had become so distant and you had so much going on…" he explained, rubbing my back slowly to soothe me.

"You were not a burden, I wanted to be there for you! You were more important than school!" I cried some more. He pulled back, looking at my face and smiling sadly.

"Oh, Candace, you always cared too much for others and not enough for yourself… You haven't changed at all." He said as he wiped my tears from my face with his gentle hands. They were rough now compared to how they were in high school. Surely a result of hard, manual labor. My heart pounded loudly in my chest. He was so close… it made me remember the many times he had held me like this and kissed me tenderly. But things were different now. He was not in love with me anymore… he was looking at me with the kindness of an old friend. I stepped away from his grasp. I didn't want to give myself any false hope of anything happening between us if there was no chance of it anyway.

"I'm sorry, I must seem crazy to you to be this upset when we ended things a long time ago… We had good reasons for breaking up." I said trying to look away from his caring gaze by turning my back to him. I slowed my breathing to stop myself from crying further.

"Yes, I think it was the best thing for both of us at that time… However, I always regretted not keeping a friendship with you." he admitted.

"…You wanted to stay friends?" I asked surprised, turning back to face him, "W-Why didn't you call or text?"

"I was sure you would not want anything to do with me. Besides, it was too painful for me to reach out, too...You were a reminder of the life I'd left behind." He explained.

"I-I see… But what about now? You don't miss life in the city at all?" I asked concerned.

"No. I have grown to love my life on the farm. As strange as it may sound, taking over for my parents was the best decision I've ever made. Even though it didn't seem that way at first." He said this with confidence and a soft smile. I could see he really meant what he said. I was amazed at how easily open and vulnerable he was being with me. Lysander had certainly changed.

"Then… I am glad to hear it." I said, finally sounding more normal now that the tears had managed to subside.

"Thank you…" he said. We shared a moment of silence as we stared at each other, but somehow it didn't feel awkward. Perhaps we were both taking in the fact that we had just had a very dramatic conversation and that we had been able to release a lot of pent up tension very quickly. "…Where does this all leave us now?" I asked hesitantly. He stepped closer to me, making my heart race again.

"Well, I for one would really like to start over as friends… that is, if you'll have me?" he asked blushing but serious.

"…I would like that." I said, my own cheeks burning pink. He smiled at me relieved at my acceptance. Suddenly we heard my phone ring and buzz in my pocket, startling the both of us. I quickly grabbed it and saw a text in all caps from Rosalaya.

CANDY, WHERE DE FUG ARE U BETCH?! UR MISSIN OUT ON DE PARDYYY!

She was definitely drunk but still bothered by my absence.

"It's Rosa, she is wondering where I am." I explained.

"Then we must not keep her waiting." He said. We headed back into the club together to reunite with our friends, walking side by side. I couldn't help feeling some butterflies in my stomach. _It's probably just the alcohol from earlier_ , I thought to myself _._ But unbeknownst to me, deep down in my heart, there was a spark that had been reignited.


End file.
